Questions asked and things wondered…. Sometimes I question why people do things or make the decisions they make. Do you ever wonder what people are thinking when they do the things they do? Did you ever ask why someone was doing something or wasn’t doing something the way you would? I used to do this all the time and I am sure I still do. I just started thinking about some specific things that I wanted to talk about. I have been wanting to get on here and start blogging again to get this back up and running. Where do I begin though? My life has taken a way different turn. Before I had so many things to blog about, home schooling, children’s church, baking, cake decorating, making soap, sewing, knitting, crocheting along with other crafts and much more. Now really out of all of those you will see me bake a little and occasionally knitting, crocheting and maybe sew something. If I have it in me I will decorate a cake for one of my kids or maybe a close family member but it seems no one really wants to eat cake so they don’t even ask anymore anyways. Most days I sit alone. My kids are at school and my husband works.
In August of 2015 I was diagnosed with Epilepsy. I haven’t driven since then so pretty much everything has changed in our life just because of that. It scared me and my whole family especially the kids. I stopped doing cakes only wedding cakes at first then big birthdays then I just stopped doing them all together. I will not take orders for anything decorated anymore. I will still do small orders for cupcakes, cookies and such if asked. Nobody really asks though. It is hard to do anything in the kitchen cause I get stressed when people come in there. I need space. It is getting harder to do most things these days.
A long time ago there was this woman I knew who had epilepsy and she had seizures worse than I have. She was on medication for epilepsy but she also took other drugs. She couldn’t drive. She was so depressed she never did anything. She never talked to anyone. I don’t know if she ever left her house. Honestly I don’t know what is going on with her with now. I remember asking how she could let herself get that way.
Boy if I knew then what I know now. Trust me I don’t take any drugs. Before being diagnosed with Epilepsy I had to really be in pain to even take motrin I don’t like to take anything. I try natural things first. It is not easy taking medications for a neurological disorder. I have been through a lot of them and one them made me fall down as soon as I stood up. A lot of them have made me sick and shaky and gain weight. I don’t like them! They are not fun! It makes you feel like not doing anything. So now I know how she felt and she was taking other drugs also so it was worse. I think she took them trying to feel better but it didn’t help it just made her worse. Everytime they change my medication it is starting all over again. As soon as I think things may be getting better the seizures get worse.
Looking in from the outside at someone elses life you can never understand everything. No matter how much you may think you know even if you are their best friend you may not know everything. It isn’t always easy to understand why someone makes the choices they do. Give your friends and family support and prayers. Trust me I wish i could do all the things I once did. The simple things I once took for granted like forgetting a onion from the grocery store and running back to get it or taking my kids to dance class or football practice are actually what I miss more than decorating cakes.
My page is Tangled In Everything and I chose that because I have always done so many different things and I never planned on concentrating on one specific area on my blog. Now I really may talk more about my life with Epilepsy with some crafts and baking here and there! So it will definitely still be tangled up trust me! Thank you for reading and showing interest. I hope you will come back!
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I love you my sweet girl !